If you’ve ever flown, you’ve likely heard the safety instructions telling you if the oxygen masks drop, put yours on first and then put one on your child/children. As a parent your first instinct is to protect your child first, then yourself … but the reality is that you need to take care of yourself in order to best take care of your children. This message holds especially true for separation and/or divorce.
A separation or divorce is obviously a highly stressful and emotional experience for everyone involved, but for a child it can feel like their whole world has shattered. Imagine your own feelings of trauma and overwhelm magnified exponentially because even though it might not feel like it, you are – at least in part – in control of what’s going on, your child is not.
Bringing in a divorce coach from the very beginning, before even reaching the separation stage, can help you work through the logistics and business of divorce, making it less overwhelming, less terrifying, and allowing you to put more energy and thought into how you and your spouse are going to reduce the negative impact on your family as much as possible.
1) Working Through The Logistics Of The Business Of Divorce
A divorce coach will listen to you without judgment, without saying whatever they think you want to hear. Their only goal is to support you by understanding, and in turn, helping you understand, what you need and want from the divorce proceedings, why you need/want it. They will be able to help you find alternative options that may be a better fit for what you actually need versus your initial, emotional, knee-jerk reaction. A divorce coach will help you avoid the pitfalls of the divorce process, and help you make the best possible decisions for your future and for the future of your children.
2) Reducing The Emotional Overwhelm
The breakup of a relationship can trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions. As well as grieving the loss of your relationship, you may feel confused, isolated, and fearful about the future. By learning how to cope with the pain of a separation or divorce in a productive way, you’ll be better able to stay calm and help your kids feel more at ease.
3) Focus On Family
It doesn’t matter whether your children are toddlers or teens, the dissolution of their parents’ marriage is going to be traumatic. However, with the help of a divorce coach during this transitional time, you can dramatically reduce your child’s pain by making their well-being your top priority.
Some children go through divorce with relatively few problems, while others have a very difficult time. Having a divorce coach by your side will help you feel like you have a say in what’s going on around you, your needs are being heard and met, and will allow you to focus your energy and time into ensuring that the impact of this event on your children is as painless and seamless as possible.
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CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Catherine Chaffee came from a mediator background, wanting to help guide people to a better place in life. Catherine's greatest joy is knowing that she has helped bring someone from a place that is so emotionally debilitating to a place...