A CDC® Divorce Coach recognizes that creating a new identity in the divorce process is part of letting go of the past and focusing on the next chapter. They understand that if their client doesn’t take charge of creating their new identity, they’ll be stuck where they are. And even worse, possibly destined to repeat the same choices they’ve made in the past and getting the same results.
In creating the next chapter, the client has an opportunity to let go of the hurts from the past, to remember the dreams that may have been stored away in favor of a new romantic relationship, and later because the demands and joys of parenthood occupied that space.
Many clients emerge from the divorce now as single head of household and often with the big question: “Who am I now? I don’t even know who I am after all these years as someone’s wife (or husband), someone’s mother, and someone’s co-signer!”
While this question comes up as the person moves into their post-divorce life, it is also lurking underneath the question of what I need as this marriage ends and I move on with the rest of my life.
The advantage to having a thinking partner, a divorce coach, who is trained and skilled at asking the questions which tease out the answers that are hard to focus on during the often tumultuous divorce process, it that there is some continuity for the client in the planning process from the beginning and into the next chapter.
Divorce calls on all participants to go through so much change that perhaps you, as a divorce coach, find yourself cringing at the thought of encouraging your client to create a new identity.
Consider this question: Do you want your client to think of themselves as defined by the fact they are divorced or do you want you clients to find new strengths from the experience and have confidence and courage and zest for living, grounded in who they are as their best self; or do you want them to feel condemned to being defined by divorce in a limiting and self-defeating way, and not able to trust themselves to make the right choices ever again?
If you’re considering becoming a divorce coach, you should attend one of our series of mini-training webinars for those who would like to explore more about how divorce coaching plays out in real life. Our next one is on Wednesday, August 12, and is “Helping Your Clients Avoid the Six Biggest Mistakes in Divorce”. Find out more information here: https://certifieddivorcecoach.com/free-webinars/
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