What is unique about coaching is that it is about helping the client to engage themselves in accomplishing what they want. Coaching also involves helping the client to discover what that thing is that he or she wants, and, as a thinking partner, supporting your client in making the best choices they can, not only in the divorce proceedings, but also in every aspect of his or her life impacted by divorce.

To prepare my first session with a new client, I asked her to tell me what the next challenge is for her. She shared with me that this was the biggest problem – that she didn’t know. She felt like she was old-school, she was afraid of leaving people behind that needed her, she was afraid and feeling very overwhelmed in her current situation.

As a Divorce Coach, you never know what realm you are going to venture into when you get a new client. The reality is that the client brings to the table the situation, the circumstances, their needs and wants and fears about what to do for right now and for the longer term.

You add your x-ray vision into the details they present, the words they use, and the behavior they are exhibiting. Then you pull out your tools – tools which help her to get clear about what is most important to her, what drives her decisions, what her hot buttons are, how to manage conflict and communicate better. You are also a co-pilot with her as she goes through the transition process from married to single and now with the full responsibility for being head of household; and when she learns to share parenting across two different parenting styles and two different sets of expectations; while also re-generating a career with income which will get her back on stable ground. And you help her to make her voice heard throughout the divorce process, to be a good partner in decision-making with her attorney or mediator or collaborative team, and with her spouse. In the end you want to know that you have done the best you can to help your client make the best possible decisions for themselves and their future based on their interests, needs and concerns. And it has taken a familiarity and insights from many different disciplines to support your x-ray vision.

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