A Divorce Coach Helps Their Client Focus Forward

A CDC® Certified Divorce Coach is someone you can talk to about making decisions, getting organized, finding the experts you need, and being the best parent you can be through the process, plus helping you with any of the other rough spots you encounter along the way. A divorce coach listens to what is important to you and asks questions to help you gain the confidence and courage to go the distance and be proud of how you dealt with such a difficult situation.

You may have heard the expression that in divorce there are really four divorces: the emotional, the legal, the financial and the social divorce.  As divorce coaches we help the client shift their perspective of the emotional and the social concerns so they can make better decisions in the legal and financial divorce.

A divorce coach helps their client to see the real impact of their actions or decisions on other members of the family. The goal is to help them to step back and get in touch with who they are when they are at their best. Self-awareness is the first step towards emotional intelligence, and I think you will agree that the business of divorce could use a good dose of emotional intelligence!

CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Karen Dorsey shares a client story of Laurie, blindsided by divorce, emotionally overwhelmed, and afraid for her future.  Laurie hired Karen at the beginning of the divorce process after her attorney handed her a large stack of papers she needed to fill out. Laurie found herself so overwhelmed she didn’t even know where to start and she knew she needed help, so she found Karen.

When Karen began working with Laurie, she discovered that Laurie’s husband had been the “breadwinner” so when he served her with divorce papers she was blindsided. She knew she was going to have to figure out how to become financially independent in addition to dealing with the divorce process.

First, Karen helped Laurie get organized and get through the stack of legal papers. Then Karen began working with Laurie to help her with the emotional piece that she had been really struggling with.  Through the coaching process, Laurie made some huge transformations through self-discovery.  She was able to better handle her emotions so that she could make the changes she needed to make in her life.

Laurie was able to work through the overwhelm and begin to see a future that she never really thought she could have.  She was able to move to sunny Florida, make new friends, and she was doing activities she’d never imagined she was able to do. Laurie found a new career path and was very successful as a realtor. She didn’t think this was possible, but Karen knew Laurie could do it, through the power of divorce coaching.

To get through the legal and financial divorce parts, a divorce coach helps their client to accept the reality of divorce and get clear about what is important to them as they focus forward so that they can be a better client and a better decision-maker. This empowers them to take control of what they want, to be able to move forward and build a case for what they need to transition to their next chapter. By becoming the decision-maker, they can work more effectively with the other professionals – legal and financial – have more reasonable expectations and get command of their facts so they can participate more effectively in the give and take of the decisions.

When they show up organized, asking good questions and able to express their needs, and explore multiple options, the client gains confidence and courage, not only for the divorce process but also for everything that follows, from effectuating the settlement to reinventing themselves and the roles they play in their family. With a divorce coach as a thinking partner, the client can be a better client for the advisors they rely on for legal and financial decisions and lay the foundation for a better outcome in the future.

If you see yourself as someone with experience in divorce, from a personal or professional standpoint, perhaps you would make an ideal divorce coach! In the Divorce Coaching Intensive, we help you to fill in the gaps in how to support those who would be your clients in going through this process; and how to work well with the other professionals who are also supporting clients in different ways with different expertise.