Many Family Lawyers agree that the biggest mistake people make in divorce is, “she wants to keep the house.” Generally, lawyers and mediators and financial advisors and collaborative law participants try to explain to her why or how it would be a mistake to try to keep the house. After all, it may be clear that it is impossible to refinance the mortgage into her name only. And the house may also be an expensive enterprise to maintain. Her spouse is either unwilling or unable to stay on the mortgage or otherwise financially support her decision to keep the house. All too often, there is no amount of logic or calculation or convincing, short of coercing her, that persuades her that insistence on keeping the house is unreasonable. Often, dispute resolution professionals get very frustrated with her and begin to label her as irrational and not credible and incompetent as a participant in the process. What she thinks, begins to be dismissed. This is one of the tragic outcomes of dispute resolution in divorce matters.
Her wanting to keep the house against all odds is not irrational. The problem is not with the client. The problem of an inability to resolve this matter lies with the dispute resolution professional. She will keep raising her “wall of resistance” as high as it needs to be to resist all arguments against her desire to keep the house. Sound familiar? She isn’t the one making the mistake.
Divorce Coaching is a dispute resolution process. CDC Certified Divorce Coaches are dispute resolution professionals who have been trained to a professional standard to assist with this very circumstance, as well as many others. The dispute resolution techniques the divorce coach employs, assist the client to self-discover for herself that it would be important for her to consider other housing options. Time after time, divorce coaches “kick the log jam loose” in a dispute. This requires time, patience, technique, and non-judgement to accomplish.
Avoid the Six Biggest Mistakes in Divorce.
To learn more about techniques for dealing with the resistance that dispute resolution professionals encounter, join us for the free mini-training webinar Helping Your Client Avoid the Six Biggest Mistakes in Divorce. You can find more information and a link to register here.
If you are unable to attend that webinar, and want to talk with us about divorce coaching, click here to set up a one-on-one call at a day and time which works best for you.
Building a Stronger Tomorrow After Divorce Starts With Having The Right Team In Place
Divorce is more than just the end of a relationship—it's the beginning of a brand-new chapter. But without the right support system, it can be easy to get stuck in grief, anger, or confusion instead of moving forward. A strong recovery doesn't happen by accident. It...
Finding Your Voice During Divorce: How a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Can Help
Divorce can make you feel like your life is spinning out of control. The legal procedures, financial uncertainties, emotional toll—it's no wonder so many people feel overwhelmed and unheard during the process. But here's the truth: you do have a voice in your divorce....
It’s Never Too Late to Find Your Calling: Why Divorce Coaching Might Be Yours
Have you ever found yourself asking, "What's next for me?" Maybe your children are growing up and needing you less. Maybe your current work isn't feeding your soul. Maybe you've walked through your own life challenges and want to use that experience to help others....
