Some of you reading this may really identify with the dilemma of the woman who decided to stop arguing herself into being happy, to leave her husband, and to find the peace and happiness she had been looking for all those years. (From the previous post – Thank God I Finally Got Up the Courage to Leave) .
As Personal Divorce Coaches, there are many ways to help out clients avoid the pitfalls of decision making especially in finding the answer to this difficult questions: Should I or shouldn’t I get divorced. If only there were a formula which we could apply which takes all of the variables and spits out the best answer. The problem with any formula is that it doesn’t take into consideration an individual’s tolerance for change and uncertainty about the future; not does it consider the things that make them happy or that they feel they have lost as a result of the current circumstances.
Tip 1: Shift your focus for what’s wrong to what’s right, even if just temporarily.
- What can you do right now to create for this moment a sense of well-being in your daily routine?
- How does your current situation allow you to contribute to others?
Tip 2: Do something new to shift your usual response.
- Notice where you shut-down and go back to an old pattern of responding or doing something.
- What could you do that would be the opposite of your usual response and still allow for your needs as well?
Tip 3: Apply sound principles in decision making:
- What other options (to get better lifestyle outcomes) could I consider if I am going to spend the same time and energy and money?
- What if the current option (Divorce) were not on the table, what other options might you consider?
There is no formula for making the decision Should I or shouldn’t I. As a thinking partner, you can help them see things from a different perspective. This is where you can help the client shine the spotlight on something they may not have considered before.
Join us for our next course which starts Monday May 11 for non-coaches and Thursday, May 14 for those trained as coaches. All classes are via webinar. For more information click here . And check out our free webinars if you are interested in exploring different aspects of divorce coaching – on our home page, the calendar on the right side shows you the next webinar. Move to the next month to see future webinars.