Divorce Triage™: A Strategic Guide to High Conflict Divorce

High-conflict divorce can invade every aspect of a client’s life. It can be destructive financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, and in raising healthy, secure children.

In this proprietary training framework, the CDC High Conflict Divorce Coach® uncovers and engages the client to consider the priorities for:

Safety: Assessing safety is the first step in effective triage for high-conflict divorce situations, helping the client to advocate for the well-being of all parties involved.

Emotional Regulation: Addressing emotional regulation promptly can help stabilize the situation and improve communication among parties involved in the divorce.

Legal Protection: Helping the client engage appropriate legal protection is crucial in high conflict divorces to safeguard the rights and interests of all individuals involved.

Long-term Support: Planning for long-term support is essential for achieving stability and recovery in high-conflict divorce situations.

The Divorce Triage™ framework helps the coach work with the client determine what is a priority:

1. What is URGENT?
2. What is ESSENTIAL?
3. What can WAIT?

These questions can reduce the overwhelm and slow down reactions and emotional decisions.

What is unique about High Conflict Divorce?

According to Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, high conflict divorce involves at least one person with a high conflict personality, and perhaps two people who exhibit high conflict behavior, which increases or prolongs conflict rather than making good efforts to resolve the issues and reach agreement.

We shine a light on the situations your clients may experience, situations which, because of their intensity, are unique to High Conflict Divorce:

• Emotional, Financial, Legal Abuse or Domestic Violence
• Children Impacted by Parental Conflict and Prolonged Custody Disputes.
• Financial Red Flags and Hidden Assets
• Navigating the Legal System with Appropriate Advisors
• Long-Term Support for Post-Separation Abuse

In this training program, we’ll provide you with the foundational mindsets, practical tools, and vital resources needed to navigate this challenging journey with your client, as well as resources for both the client and the high-conflict divorce coach.   We will be using the lens of Divorce Triage for High Conflict Divorce: SAFETY, EMOTIONAL REGULATION, LEGAL PROTECTION and LONG-TERM SUPPORT. 

Strategies to de-escalate emotional intensity, prioritize your safety, and your client’s safety and supporting your client in maintaining a clear vision of their core values throughout, including:

• Regulating your nervous system, de-escalation, the skill of pivoting in conflict, and the power of ‘unhooking’ your emotional triggers, important for both the high-conflict divorce coach and their clients.
• Rewriting the stories of marriage, freeing themselves from the narratives that hold them back.
• Awareness of the repetitive behavioral patterns that impact goals and learn how to deal with them more effectively.
• Knowledge and tools to help your client effectively navigate difficult conversations, deal with the impact of betrayal, help your client to become a credible client, even in the face of attacks on their dignity, reputation, and constant resistance on all fronts.
• And most importantly, work with your client in the face of post-separation and post-divorce abuse.

• In this program, and in the course content and resources, you will find a deeper understanding of the wide range of concerns and obstacles these clients face, and you will be provided with additional tools, frameworks, and resources to address those needs.