What a Personal Divorce Coach IS and IS NOT!
The CDC Certified Divorce Coach® helps the individual caught in the overwhelm of divorce to make the best decisions possible for their future based on their particular wants, needs and concerns and supports them in moving forward towards that future one step at a time. To make the best decisions possible, the client may need to increase the effectiveness of the tools they have at their disposal, including:
- Decision-making practices
- 2-way communication skills
- Conflict competence
- Emotional Intelligence
- Organization skills
- Resilience
- Credibility and
- Future visioning
These tools are important for every step in the process of divorce.
Divorce Coaches can also help a client who hasn’t yet decided to divorce, who is grappling with the “should I or shouldn’t I” question, to understand the impact of divorce on all aspects of their life – approaching divorce from an “eyes wide open” standpoint to determine if the tradeoffs and consequences of divorce are best for decision for them and their family.
How is a personal divorce coach different from a therapist?
Personal divorce coaching is a process of working one-on-one with a client to help them through the rough spots in their divorce and to help him or her make the best possible decisions for their future based on their particular wants, don’t wants, needs and concerns.
- Divorce coaching can focus on any on the intertwined pathways for supporting people in the divorce process:
- Doing the internal work to be able to move forward in accomplishing what is most important to the client;
- Setting goals and taking actions which help the individuals accomplish their goals; and
- Turning the story about the divorce into the business of divorce.
Personal Divorce Coaching takes place where the rubber meets the road in the decisions, large and small, every day, which set the stage for creating the next chapter in the best way possible. This is the biggest difference between divorce coaching and therapy – turning the story of divorce into the business of divorce.
How is a personal divorce coach different from a mediator?
While a mediator works with both parties in a divorce to hammer out how to reconcile various wants and needs during the divorce settlement negotiation, remaining neutral to outcome of the mediation and neutral in the support of each of the two clients, a personal divorce coach has a very different client-centric point of view and usually works with only one of the individuals making up the divorcing couple.
The coach holds the perspective that the client is the expert in their own life and what is most important to them as they move forward. A personal divorce coach is a thinking partner and sounding board for the client, helping them to self-discover what the best possible outcome might be for them in the divorce process.
A personal divorce coach also helps them to expand their view about possible options, allowing them to make different choices which may get different results. In the self-discovery process the coach and client may very well discover that there are gaps in their knowledge or gaps in their skills and will develop a plan on how to close that gap so that that individual client can be a more effective participant in the discussions about their divorce settlement agreement.
How is a personal divorce coach a valuable asset to the client AND the divorce attorney?
In most states, provinces, and countries, only individuals licensed to provide legal advice may do so. Certified Divorce Coaches respect the boundaries between Divorce Coaching and attorneys and carefully avoid the unauthorized practice of law. However, there are many ways in which a Divorce Coach can support the client in becoming a more credible participant in all of the discussions during the process of divorce. These practices include:
- Establishing realistic expectations for the respective roles of both client and attorney in the legal process – and being able to express their own needs and expectations in advance to make sure the relationship with the attorney will be a good fit for their needs.
- Helping the client get organized for meetings with their attorney by clarifying questions and information needed to examine different options and their ramifications in the decision making process;
- Supporting the client in clarifying what is most important to them in the negotiation process and being able to communicate clearly and effectively that rationale.
- Responding faster to the requests from their attorney in the time sensitive and often pressured timeframes for getting the work of the court done.
Personal Divorce Coaching Fills a Missing Role
In 2009, when Randy Cooper, Co-Founder of the CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Training and Certification Program got certified as a Financial Coach, he came back from that training and the light bulb went on for him: Personal Divorce Coaching fills a gap and works in a very practical AND transformative way with individual clients. The roll-up-your-sleeves kind of work that a divorce coach does helps the client in ways that are different from a Therapist, a Mediator, and an Attorney, and complements their work in helping the client to make the best decisions for their future based on their wants, don’t wants and their needs. This work has a good chance of empowering them to take the high road and change their experience of divorce – for the sake of themselves and their family and their community!
[su_box title=”It’s Not too Late” box_color=”#a8dbf7″]The Next Course starts May 10 and runs through August 28.
For more information go to divorcecoachtrainingprogram.com or Contact Us for a one on one Q & A call.
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