reptiles eye
It is not your client’s fault that their thinking is in chaos. Since being blindsided by divorce, their thoughts are all about their concerns, fears, uncertainties maybe even denial that this is really happening. Many of those concerns are the everyday nitty-gritty issues perched on their front porch; and not even the really big decisions that they will be making down the road.

There are a hundred decisions everyday which drain your client’s energy and diminish their problem-solving skills. The part of the brain that is now in charge is the reptilian brain, the one which takes care of survival! Fight or flight – making knee-jerk reactions every day so that your client can keep doing what needs to be done to get through. The big missing piece here is any connection to the creative, logical, problem solving brain – the part of the brain that deliberates and takes a little time to weigh the pro’s and con’s or to look at something from different perspectives. The reptilian brain wants speed and doesn’t want to be hampered by that slow problem-solving brain and so it just cuts off access. After all, this is all about survival!

A CDC Certified Divorce Coach® is trained in managing the reptilian brain and helping the client settle the reptile down and create a less threatening environment – someplace familiar where the client can get their wits about them and begin to remember who they are when they’re at their best.

The divorce coach and the client build on a foundation of trust so there is no reason to put up a wall of resistance. The divorce coach helps the client to tame the reptilian brain and re-engage the creative, problem-solving brain. With four simple strategies, the client’s brain can move from the chaos and overwhelm caused by the reptilian brain:

  1. Create a safe place by asking permission to explore certain concerns; giving the client choices which they can control; and speak to what is in it for them.
  2. Keep it simple by avoiding abstract concepts and focusing on stories or metaphors instead.
  3. Paint a picture of the future by using images wherever possible and using the client’s words – the reptilian brain loves familiar things!
  4. Take away the fear by focusing on their concerns and being patient – very patient so as to avoid perceived threats or pushing their hot buttons.

A CDC Certified Divorce Coach® becomes the voice of reason, the professional trained to keep their client focused on what is most important and most urgent. As the thinking partner, you help your client to pull out the threads of their concerns and pick a focus. The relief is immediately apparent in their physical appearance: shoulders and back straighter, head held higher.

If you’re interested in learning more about becoming CDC Certified Divorce Coach®visit us at: or schedule a call with one of the co-founders today.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This