The Momentum of Divorce can have 3 different characteristics:
- Moving forward in a direction that is working
- Moving in the wrong direction
- Stuck and not moving in any direction
When the divorce is moving in the right direction, what might you be experiencing?
- Moving forward in a direction that is working – in other words it is moving away from some of the negative emotions and towards more clarity and confidence – you feel better able to engage with others and ask questions you need answered to move forward.
- Maybe you feel as though you are getting a handle on what you need to be gathering together and you can see the pathway for getting what might be missing; or you have built a good team and feel supported by people who can help you think through your options.
When divorce is moving in the wrong direction, how do you recognize that?
- You feel lousy, lacking energy, and overwhelmed by the tasks ahead.
- Every day feels like a struggle, as though you are alone in this hard work, and you don’t know anyone you can turn to to change that unhappy reality?
When you are stuck and not moving in any direction – even though it might seem as though you are in limbo, you have really come under the influence of the internal voice that says to you: “You can’t – there is no hope, nothing you can do will make a difference”. In other words, moving in no direction is the equivalent of moving in the wrong direction.
Here are three tips that make it easier to change the momentum:
- Ask yourself: How do I feel about the direction I am headed in? Am I OK with where I am going or do I feel a tight knot in my stomach or in my throat; or is something else feeling very uncomfortable or wrong? You just might be going in the wrong direction.
- Choose: Do I want to continue to barrel along in the wrong direction because it is easier not to exert any pressure on the brake to slow down and listen to my GPS? Or do I want to slow down and figure out how to get back on the right track?
- Once back on the right track: look at ways you can get your momentum back to speed. Ask someone to walk down the path with you towards what you want, and help you identify options and make better decisions. Ask for what you need. And try on whatever suggestions COULD change the momentum and accelerate your progress toward your goals. Be open to new input!
If your momentum in your practice isn’t giving you what you want, try on becoming a CDC Certified Divorce Coach. Our next course starts soon. Visit certifieddivorcecoach.com/dates-for-training and ask about the changes we have made to make the program even better!